So, rather than mope, I'll recap last weekend, which involved very little indoor time.
It had been a punishing week at work and by Friday I couldn’t face the drive to the Goulburn Valley or the farm work to follow. I raised the white flag and settled for a mental health weekend in town. I had to work till about 2200 on Friday evening, doing some things before this week's jury trial. I walked home as usual, but this time stopped at the Great Northern Hotel on Rathdowne Street. It has a reputation for a good range of beers, and is nothing like the Great Northern Hotel on Twin Peaks.
A couple of beers gave me time to draft up a plan for the weekend. The Bureau of Meteorology said it’d be a warm weekend and it looked to me like it may be the last decent one for the summer. Naturally the beach had a central place in the plan.
I woke up tired on Saturday morning but got on with Red Cross phone calls from 0800. My legs were still sore so I put my run off till the Sunday and replaced it with guided yoga and meditation from ABC Classic Flow. It felt really very peaceful.
Sometimes, it can feel like my heart is on the outside of my skin, rather than safely protected by my rib cage. Sometimes, even the wind blowing, making contact to the tender exposed flesh is enough to bring me to my knees. But, somehow, each time, I take the risk to open MORE. To see that this emotional tenderness is my way of making meaning in the world, and the people in it, that moves me so madly deeply. ♥️ . Remember (I’m also telling myself), emotional pain is not pathological. Grief is not a condition to be diagnosed and treated. Even (especially) a ruptured heart is utterly pure and complete on its own, and it doesn't need fixing or to be transformed into anything else. In fact it IS the vehicle through which the poetry of our lives flow. 🌊 . 📷 @arterium
I went out and got groceries and then made some sandwiches. I headed for the beach for an afternoon of sun and sand and reading and swimming. While I was there I finally finished reading Watkin Tench’s account of the first settlement in Australia.
|St Kilda Beach, Melbourne, Australia|
It was a little cool for it but I got myself ice cream nonetheless. Why not, after all? The cooler months are going to last a long while. Beer at the Village Belle Hotel before I came back to Brunswick.
|Everest ice cream. What's not to like?|
I still had chores to do in the form of laundry. I knew I’d burn off some excess calories doing the ironing afterwards, but I decided to make sure of being under my calorie count by going walking during the wash- and dry-cycles. The sunset over western Melbourne was heavenly.
|Sunset, Essendon area, Melbourne|
Sunday morning kicked off with a message from the Ex that gave me a twinge of the blues. I'll save you the details. I only had a short window to FaceTime with Grace and Rachel but we made it work. They could see me but I couldn’t see them. They were happy to talk to me though and that’s all I really minded. After FaceTime I scurried up to St Mary Margaret for Mass. I confess I was having trouble “feeling it” today. My prayers felt hollow and I feel hopelessly mired in sin.
|St Mary Margaret church, Brunswick, Victoria, Australia|
After mass I changed into my gear and headed out for a good 17km run. It took nearly half-way before I started feeling good. At least the sun was shining! When I got back here I made some sandwiches of avocado, spam and tomatoes. Caught the tram to Sth Melbourne Beach which seemed less busy than usual: even though the day was warm it was cloudy. I decided to put on sunscreen anyway and went for a dip as soon as I could, to loosen up tired muscles from the run.
|Boat off South Melbourne beach|
By 1715 the sun was thoroughly clouded over and so I called it a day and went for a Hop Culture IPA at the Beach Hotel. Delicious and sharp flavoured. I took this photo while I was there - as you can see it was thoroughly clouded over by then.
|Beach Hotel, South Melbourne|
I wasn't done by that stage, so I had another beer (Kosziosko pale ale) at the Quarry Hotel on the way back. I people watched for a bit. Even by Sunday evening there's always activity in my area!