Typing this one just after breakfast on Boxing Day. Hope you're all having a good Christmas.
Currently I'm really stuck in a Yuletide slump. The next week has been mapped out for me by Dad and Michael who, in their usual style, made plans around me being available and then (and only then) asked "you didn't have anything else planned did you?". I'd be more unhappy if it weren't for the fact that in still paying off debt and, apart from entering a few races, can't really afford to do a bunch of things.
Skype time with the girls in about an hour, which is great but awfully bittersweet. Feel terribly sad at having hurt people. Why did I give Mum and Dad the chance to be grandparents and then not make things happen to match? Why did I take the job at Halls?
Why did I get effed up?
I know I won't feel like this forever. Hopefully I won't feel like it for more than a few hours. But now: right now I feel like there's a big heavy cannon ball inside my stupid chest.
More shortly.
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