It's 6am here. I decided to write about the thing that I alluded to but didn't write about in my last post.
I was trading a few messages recently with a friend of mine who used the phrase 'single by choice'. That phrase (and idea) has been rolling around in my head for the last few days. The more I think of it as a description of my situation, the more liberating it feels.
I've written previously (http://newciteaux.blogspot.com/2015/08/insulation-love-and-running.html) about having a few ethical misgivings about finding someone new post-divorce. I hadn't really thought, though, of singlehood as a status to be preserved by choice. The more I think of it, though, the more it makes sense. It frees you from the burden of knowing you frustrate the Hell out of someone else, or having them utterly exasperate you. It spares you from the contempt that only a significant other can inject into a look or a word. Fundamentally, it leaves you free.
It seems like a terribly obvious thing, but it had never occurred to me before. I'm surely pleased to have this new perspective!