I'm feeling more like myself today, and less like the dud-battery-bunny in the Duracell ads. Last night I was reading at about 10:30pm and my brain threw in the towel altogether. I gave it the largely passive exercise of lying in the dark listening to ABC Classic FM and just let the music wash over it. I woke up at about 2am to turn the radio off and then went right back to sleep.
I'm still light on for work, and the weird politics of this place mean I can't even offer to help out the other groups like property that could use a hand. I mean, I'm not sure what's more absurd: that with an 11-page CV I've been tasked with folding a bunch of A0 size maps, or that I'm saving that job for after lunch so I'll have something to do!
On the plus side, the signs of spring are ever more observable. I photographed the tree in blossom above just before when I went out at lunch. The days are warmer and the nights are cold but not bitter. The improved weather has me looking at the running calendar and trying to rationalise paying a bunch of further race fees. Something else that's a source of encouragement is this letter which came yesterday:
I'm still not convinced it'll come to anything, but I have to keep painting my life in Technicolour. I surely don't want to wake up one day and find that I've just slouched my way through life with dreams I never made real. Too many people do exactly that, and I know it's a bad temptation for me too.
"Just look at the face: it's vacant, with a hint of sadness.
Like a drunk who's lost a bet" (Image from here)
Besides which, I've been missing Grace and Rachel more and more all the time and the closer I can be means the more of a proper Dad I can be too.
No more for now. I expect I'll post again this evening from the farm. Hope your days are kicking off well.