Friday, 25 April 2014

Someone remind me what a huge success I've made of my life.

I keep forgetting.

Wednesday, 23 April 2014

A snowman in Las Piedras

Hi everyone,

This will be a whiny venting post.  I'm sitting here at my desk at work trying to hold my shit together.  I just saw somewhere on the web a picture from Frozen - the one that says something about "do you want to build a snowman?".

This, of course, makes me think of Grace and Rachel and how they saw the movie lately and were so excited by it, and how I wasn't there to share it with them and sing with them and be a father to them.

And how I've wound up here, divorced and alone and as trapped as the characters in The Wages of Fear.  Living a bazillion miles from my darling kids, applying my skills for the benefit of clients who mostly distrust me and some of whom actively despise me.

I know I'll bounce back, and find a way out of these issues, but right now I feel like I've reached into my bag of tricks and found it empty.

Saturday, 19 April 2014

Woodsmoke and Football

Cool autumn day here.  Slept late, but woke up feeling well-rested for the first time in ages.

Nice long morning Skype with the girls.  Love them so much!  Poor Grace has a stomach bug and was cuddling up to Joni, although there was an upside inasmuch as Rachel and I got to have some daddy-daughter time.  I love Gracie-Lou, but she does make it hard for Rachel-Bear to get a word in edgeways!

Working with the old boy on the house plumbing in the afternoon. Woodsmoke was coming through the chimney from the fire inside and hanging in the cool afternoon air.  I remember that smell well from Flinders, in the before-time. It always smelt like home, and yet...  The other thing I heard a few times through the day was talk of local football on the radio.  I always thought having a local team would mean something to me - that supporting a team (Shepparton Swans) and being able to go to their games (the firm is a sponsor) would be a part of feeling at home.  But still ... It's as if I want somewhere that feels like home, but as soon as it heaves into view, I feel trapped.

Way to be eternally unsatisfied!

More tomorrow I guess.

Friday, 18 April 2014

So it's been a while

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been AWOL so long.

No real excuse: life has been a little same-y of late.  Work, run, shower, sleep, repeat.  It's not bad, I have to say, but it doesn't give me a huge amount to say.

Errr, so what do I have?  Well, I've started my training with the State Emergency Service.

Too old and cowardly to take the Queen's shilling, so I guess this is something my girls might be able to be proud of me for.  Guilt much?!?

What else?  The "prestige vehicle case" is underway.  I think this one has real legs.

I should add that the other reason I've been AWOL a lot is that I tend to blog from my phone before sleeping, and I've been crashing to sleep pretty readily at night.

Failed to go to the Good Friday service today. I've also rather sucked at Lent this year #CatholicFail. Losing my faith?  I can't remember when I last prayed.

Well, be it all as it may, one presses on. As long as the sun rises there are new things to do!