Weekend Diary

Hi everyone,

Sunday evening.  It's been a fairly quiet weekend here, with showers of greater or lesser degree.

Perhaps surprisingly, the weekend is almost as important when you're unemployed as when you're working.  It's when you don't feel guilty.  During the week, you have a constant sense of shame that you're not at work and instead you're just killing time.  I do what I can to keep myself busy, with looking for work and doing farm stuff and writing and running my SES unit.  At some level, though, it feels like you're kidding yourself and simply playing at being an adult.  Not fun.  On Saturday I swallowed my pride and began the process of applying for the dole.  Even though I miss my girls constantly, and even kind of miss (the life I had with?) the ex, I'm genuinely glad none of them are here to see my life now.

With that in mind, I was genuinely grateful to have my pager go off a couple of times this weekend.  The ground hereabouts is absolutely saturated and trees are starting to fall over under their own weight.  When they fall on roads, it constitutes a threat to safety and that's why SES is called out.  The first job was on Friday evening, on the Midland Highway.  The speed limit on the highway is 100 km/h, so a fallen tree is a genuine hazard that needed an emergency response.

The second job was less than twelve hours later, just about 0800.  It was probably borderline whether it needed an emergency response - it was a moderate sized tree but on a back road - but the job had come through and I was happy to go.  One of our other members also came across, as did a VicRoads worker, and with a bit of cutting and lifting we cleared the road.

My pager went off again about 0615 this morning for a third tree down / traffic hazard.  I'd just finished getting on my boots and overalls and was about to leave when a further message came through from Victoria Police advising that the road had been cleared.  Well and good: I went back to bed!  This had its upside because it meant I was free to skype with Grace and Rachel later that morning.

Poor Gracie has a touch of tonsilitis, although it didn't seem to have slowed down her voice.  I swear she could talk underwater!  Well, it slowed her a little bit, so Rachel and I got to have a little daddy-daughter time.  She was sleepy and asked me to sing her a lullaby.  I sang the song I loved to sing her when she was a little baby, The Black Velvet Band.  She didn't go to sleep, but it was a good peaceful moment for us nevertheless.

Not much more to note.  This week I've got a couple of actual jobs to apply for, as well as two things where I'll be the public face of the Tatura unit.  I'll try and squeeze in a blood donation too.  If I run out of other ideas, I'll start sounding out Red Cross about setting up a branch in Shepparton (oddly enough, there isn't one).  If I'm going to be a welfare parasite, society might as well get value for money.

No more to add just now.  Hope your weekends are going well!

Warmer weather

Hi everyone,

 

Sorry for the want of a post last night.  I was absolutely beat when I crashed into bed, and I think any post would have read "Hi everyone, warm weather today zzzzzzzzz"

 

Anyway, the old boy got away yesterday a bit before nine, and that gave me time to take the dog for a walk across the paddocks.  Always a good way to kick off the day, no?  I had a skype date with the girls that morning which was wonderful.  every time I see and speak to them, they're so chatty and smart, and they do love me which is all kinds of precious.  Being a long distance dad isn't something I could ever recommend to anyone, but it's better than not being a Dad at all.

 

After lunch both Mum and Little Sister decided to take naps, so I spent some quality time practising the knots that are mandatory for the General Rescue assessment next weekend.  I think I've got them under control - even the Double Fisherman's Knot which had really kind of stumped me.

 

 

I got out for a run in the afternoon: it was such a bright warm day that it would have been a crime to waste it.  I was looking for good distance but not a particularly long run.  In the end I settled on 14 kilometres which I managed in 1:22:40.  The run took me past the shed of the local volunteer fire brigade.  Lord but I hope this fire season is a quiet one for them.

 

 

 

Today was one of those days where you spend the first few minutes trying to establish what the time actually is.  I actually LIKE it when the clocks go on to Summer time, but the first day is always confusing that way!  Anyway, once the timing issues were sorted out me and the dog headed out as usual.  I think he was trying for some sort of award for how dirty he could get.

 

 

First he rolled in dry grass and dust, and then found something that had been dead a while and rolled in that too.  When we came to a small seasonal creek that (inexplicably) had water in one of its holes, he turned it into his own private wallowing pool!

 

 

The country is starting to dry out.  The wind this morning had no moisture in it at all.  As I walked, for the first time, I could start to hear the grinding sound of dry grass.

 

 

In the afternoon I got away on another ride in the rolling country to the east of here.

 

 

It was at a stage when the sun was lighting up the hills at Euroa.  The photos, sadly, don't really do it justice.

 

 

As I was coming back I noticed that one of the paddocks nearby has been freshly raked for hay.  Is there a better smell in all the world than fresh-cut hay?  This is surely one of the perks of living out here.

 

 

No more for now.  I think I need to find more interesting things to write about: as I skim over the above I must agree that my life is other than riveting!

 

More tomorrow.

 

Skyping with Grace and Rachel

Hi everyone,

I wanted to write a special couple of notes about last night's skype with the girls.

It was (then) Saturday morning for them, and initially it was just me and Grace as Rachel was still sleeping.  She was most excited to show me some new Slotkins she'd been given.  As best I could understand they're little collectable minature shoes and cars and telephones and the like.  Then she showed me her new iPad game called "Dr Panda", where a panda variously runs a restaurant and a daycare (I was just happy to watch her play).

One of the best bits was when I softly sang a few bars of my favourite Cajun song, "Colinda" to her.  She said that when I did that, she could have fallen asleep, and would I sing to her while she had a nap?  She then curled up and pretended to sleep, and I sang "Colinda" to her, and then started working through as many of the old colonial songs as I could remember - "Botany Bay" and "Wild Colonial Boy", a few bars of "Black Velvet Band" and "Ten Thousand Miles Away".  My sleep-deprived brain was running out of ideas after this point (which is why I didn't throw in "Waltzing Matilda", for example) and I moved on to anything remotely lullaby-ish ("Non, je ne regrette rien").  I eventually regressed to my university days and moved on to Semisonic's "Singing in my Sleep" when Grace announced that she'd slept enough and wanted to go and finish her cinnamon roll (seemingly she's not a fan of late-90s rock!).  I love that she likes it when Daddy sings to her!

By this point Rachel was out of bed and she and I talked, and she told me what she'd been doing at school in the way 5 year-olds tell you those things (viz, lots of disjointed details, of which the only one I can remember is that the school headmaster has a moustache!).  By then Grace wanted to watch something on the ipad (which would disconnect me).  Rachel tried to dissuade her and I heard her tell Grace "he just wants to spend time with us".  I melted: I just love how much they "get it".  Although I should add that this didn't stop Grace hanging up on me!

Being a long distance Dad isn't great.  But Lordy, I wouldn't swap being a Dad for all the tea in China.

A patchy monday

Hi everyone,

Here I am again at the farm on Monday evening.  I'm writing this after dinner and thinking about getting another glass of wine.

It's been an interesting day.  I skyped with the girls last night and was in bed a little after 1am.  They're both doing well: they were getting ready to go to Mass and then to have lunch with the ex's parents.  I'm so glad they have those strong family ties.  Her parents are the sweetest and most loving people in the world and I know they take good care of Grace and Rachel.  God bless them.

Anyway, late night notwithstanding, I was up just on 7am and at work by 8:30am.  The day itself was fiddly and forgettable, apart from that I spoke with my boss who approved me applying for the Deputy Corporate Secretary job.  I'm not in love with the Goulburn Valley, but I'll need work beyond April and I have to take my shots when I can.  I sent the application off today.

There's a possible development with some family drama.  I'm not going to share details (not yet at least); suffice it to say that with some situations the stress of them reaching their high-point can actually be kind of welcome: it means that a longstanding problem is finally close to resolving. 

I made the mistake of looking at The Age and at the comments at the ABC today.  I don't understand the world.  I don't really why people - like me - who want no more to live simply and lovingly and morally, seem to be viewed with such hatred and contempt.  And why so many people seem to feel oblivious to the selfishness of their actions.  It's stupid to be saying it, but in honesty I think the world makes less sense to me now than at any other time in my life.

No more for now.  More later

Lots of family day.

Hi everyone,

Today got off to a good start with Second Oldest Sister and I being the first ones out of bed and having breakfast.  Oldest Sister Economist had brought down a bag of Vietnamese coffee that she recommended and I brewed it up.  It was as good as she'd said: rich and strong, but not bitter.

I took the dog fur his morning walk and meanwhile Little Sister and Oldest Sister Economist got underway.  I had a Skype date lined up with Grace and Rachel and so they got to see their aunts all in one go.  It was adorable: the girls were pleased to see them and as natural as could be.  And, I think all my sisters were happy to see them as well.  Family is a beautiful thing.

About midday we headed in to town and the hospital.  Mum was a bit like she had been yesterday: hand a little bit stronger and leg supporting her weight.  She was still in good spirits and really did seem happy to have seen all of us.

The two older sisters began their drives home from the hospital and Little Sister and I came back to the farm.  I tackled a few chores, but for some reason I was feeling a bit blue and feeling like 4pm on a Sunday was like the ultimate rag-end of time: too early to eat and too late for a long run

In the end I took the dog for a walk.  Clouds were covering the sky horizon to horizon and I was feeling like everything was waiting on something.

While I was walking to dog I found a spike that I'm sure would have been used in a stayrail.  I mention it as it looks for all the world like the classic images of the crucifixion.  I think it would be a good memento mori to keep it close and think on something faith-related.

That about covers it for today.  Hope all's well with you!

From having been eWOL

Hi everyone,

 

Posting this from my office at lunch hour. Sorry for being eWOL for so long. I've been trying to write a catch up post, with limited success.

Anyway, overall things have been good the last week or so, save only for the issues currently going on in my life. And even they aren't so bad; just unsettling. Although, a big whack of my life has involved being excessively settled, so there is something to be said for the "stone in a rock tumbler" aspect of the whole experience.

 

It was my 35th birthday last week, which means I'm halfway through my allotted three score years and ten. It was a little curious this year: usually I sort of try to let my birthday go by unmentioned.  This year, I didn't make a big deal of it, but I felt calmer and, I guess, more joyful than I have in quite some time. One can overanalyse feelings, and I'll resist doing that now. Suffice to say I was really touched when my assistant got me a birthday cupcake from the bakery next to our office!

 

 

As you know, I've been spending a lot of time at the weekend with the parentals at Shepparton. It's calving time for the heifers there, and already there's one calf that's being bottle fed.  When I was up there the weekend before last Dad did find himself having to pull a calf from a heifer in trouble.  This, incidentally, was something we all saw quite a bit of as kids: look no further for the reason none of my sisters have children!

 

The Saturday of that weekend was a Beef Week event at the property of a couple of friends of the parentals who are Maine-Anjou breeders. This coincided with the AGM of the Maine-Anjou breeders society.  It was great to see how happy Mum and Dad seem to be with all the new friends they've made through the breeders' society - It really makes me glad to see them happy.  Added to which, the AGM was accompanied by a first class lunch of roast, grilled and corned beef from the breed in question. Great reason to break the diet!

 

 

Stopped in Rushworth on the way going there -

 

 

which allowed me to get my newspaper fix with the Shepparton News and the Kyabram Free Press. 

 

On the way back, we swung past the block at Rushworth to pick up a trough which had been earmarked for giving the cattle at Shepparton a mineral supplement in the form of rock salt and molasses.  Clearly cattle like the whole "salty and sweet" thing. I must try giving them Reeses peanut butter cups one day.

 

 

Work is kind of problematic: I feel pretty guilty over how many headaches I'm causing for the gentle, kindly, supportive folks I work with, and yesterday that sent me into an absolute tail spin of self-loathing and guilt and upset. Suffice it to say the Nikes got a workout last night that had nothing at all to do with fitness and a LOT to do with clearing my head.  A lot of the closest friends came running (well, posting) when I alluded to this on Facebook, and that was a true feel-better moment too!

 

At the weekend I was had Sunday lunch at Second Oldest Sister's place, and she made surely the mother of all birthday cakes: the pictures (which I'm having trouble posting but will put up after) don't at all do it justice!

 

Saturday of the weekend I'd earmarked as time to write -

 

 

look for a job, and go for a LONG run. Sucessfully did all of those things. For the run I went down to St Kilda late afternoon and went running along the Esplanade. Beautiful sunset (snapped from phone while literally running!) -

 

 

although I looked less stellar after two hours and 19kms!

 

 

I got the tram back from in front of Luna Park.

 

 

Skyped with Grace and Rachel Saturday evening. As always, a very bittersweet experience.  Well, at least I know they're clearly growing up to be beautiful little people.

 

I was as stunned as the rest of the world by the Pope's decision yesterday to step down.  Oddly, the last pope to step down (voluntarily) was St Celestine V, for whom I took my confirmation name.  I know I should be poring over the news reports, but somehow I'm not keen.  So many people, especially in the online comments, seem to hate the Pope, the church, and often Catholic en masse, with a venom it's hard to credit.  Do I want to wade through it?  Not especially.  So many people seem to have so little to say, and to say it so often and so loudly.

 

OK, I guess that's a catch up.  I'll post again tonight, I expect.  Sorry again for being away so long!

Late on a cool night

Hi everyone,

This one's drafted on my laptop from Shepparton - I'm presently offline and typing it in Notepad.  Shortly when it's close to time to skype with the girls I'll fire up the aircard and post it.

I'm skyping late tonight for two reasons.  One is that it's when the timezones align and I'm hoping my aircard will work better at night in the same way radio reception gets better at night.  And the other is that combining Joni, the girls, and my own family in an awake condition is something I'm genuinely not ready to do.

Today I've been kind of trying to hold the blue devils at bay.  I slept OK last night, meaning I only woke up once or twice (the average in the last few months is two to four times a night), and it's been a warm and sunny day largely spent outside.  But, mum's seems to be making a point of being cheerful.  I'm not sure if that's for my benefit, but it means she gaily talks a lot which one needs to react to, and which I'm finding an effort.  And Little Sister's fellow Michael has this demeanour where he seems to be channelling the older brother I never had.  Usually this wouldn't trouble me but today it was something which was having a "fingernails on blackboard" effect on me I'm afraid.  So, I've chiefly been spending meals looking down at my plate and keeping quiet.

Anyway, God willing I'll get a run in tomorrow morning and in that case the extra endorphins will set me to rights.  Seems a shame to waste a long weekend.

On a less broody note, today was Australia Day!  So, 225 years since the first settlement at Sydney Harbour!  I've deliberately avoided the newspaper coverage today because it's always the same every year ("Australia's the greatest place on earth" vs "How can you celebrate Invasion Day?") with a dash of republic / new flag / cause du jour thrown in.

It's also the 205th anniversary of the Rum Rebellion - the successful military coup against the government of Governor Bligh in Sydney - in 1808.  The rebellion was carried out by the New South Wales Corps, which later became the 102nd Regiment of Foot and took part in the occupation of Northern Maine during the War of 1812.  I've been doing some research for a friend of mine in Maine who's involved with the commemoration of the occupation.  I found that a surprising number of people either joined or received commissions in the regiment in New south Wales who were still serving in it when it was active in the US.  Unfortunately, the UK's public records office hasn;t been great at accessing relevant records by remote control, so there might be a limit to what can be done with this.  Mem: I should check and see if anything archaeological is being done in connection with this subject.  For once I might have something useful to offer!

OK, I guess there's nothing much more I can think of right now.  Sorry this isn't a more exciting post: my head's kinda not there.

=====================

Hi everyone,

I just got through a great skype with the girls.  They were in their little princess dresses (Rachel was Rapunzel and Grace Cinderella) and looked like they were really happy to see me!

The skype was great, but it made me so painfully aware of what I have lost.  Having faith is great, and I never want to lose it.  But there are times like this, when I wish it allowed the luxury of despair.  Knowing (which I do) that you are strong enough to push through painful times is a blessing, but sometimes it can also feel like a curse.

Well, no point dwelling on it.  I have the most beautiful and sweet natured daughters in the world, and already you can see the gentle and loving women they'll become.  And somehow, I know that when they're old enough they'll also forgive Daddy his failings.  So, there's still much to look forward to with hope.  As Ludwig Boltzmann proved, all things are possible with time.

Weekend update

Hi everyone,

Considering the start it got on Friday, it's been a pretty good weekend.  I've been, essentially, considering my options.  But (unlike how I would have been in another stage in my life) I haven't been wanting to go and throw myself off the Westgate Bridge. 

Photo from here

I guess that's because, really, I haven't been especially happy in my career for some time.  So, really, the thing I'll miss most about being a defence lawyer is the pay.

I'm afraid to say I don't have any brilliant next moves planned.  I was on my feet at 6am on Saturday thanks to having broken the coffee machine out of retirement (waking up to Community Coffee dark roast is something out of heaven)

Picture from this nice person.

I set to and updated and generally overhauled my CV and posted it to a few recruiter's websites and also scoped out some jobs.  Tomorrow I'll call a recruiter and see if they can do anything for me, although how the Hell I explain my sudden departure from a job I've only been in for six months I have no idea (really, if you have any suggestions, I'm all ears).  If you want my CV, shoot me an email - or check out my linkedin profile to the right of the screen there.

Saturday evening I had dinner with Second Oldest Sister and JP - pork with vegetables and crackling ... >drool<.  Honestly, the mood was upbeat.  Of course, there's never a good time to be out of work involuntarily, but there's also never a bad time to look at beginning again either.  So, it was a really nice evening.  That's two dinners I owe S.O.S., so I've promised to fry a turkey for Easter at Shepparton.  I should mention it to Dad and see if he can procure some deer meat to try frying as well.

Today was kind of a day of constant waiting.  I was on my feet at 7am with the smell of coffee brewing.  So I went through a pot of coffee and did some writing but didn't get to breakfast as I was planning on a run, and then it was coming up to skype-time with my little princesses so I was still in the shorts and t-shirt I sleep in, plus some over-the-hill sweat pants and a pullover, without a shower.  Skyping with the girls was just stellar - they were wearing the play-jewellery my mother had sent them and Grace was clearly in her element and babbling twenty-to-the-dozen.  Rachel is calm and sweet but still very quiet.  They look so big now - little girls rather than babies.  If there's an upside to getting fired, it's a window between jobs to go see them for the first time in over a year.  I wish I'd been able to see Joni for a little, because I miss her.  I know a lot of you might not understand, but I still love her, and I accept the teaching that our marriage remains in existence until they're shovelling dirt in on my coffin.  So, it's my duty to wait, and forgive, Joni until either I am six feet under or there's a chance for healing.  If that means I have to wait for the next fifty-odd years, well, I guess it'll give me time to crank out a couple of books or something.  I guess, if nothing else, that's not a bad role-model to give the girls for how a husband should behave when things get tough.

I got out for the run I mentioned before - about 5 miles in 40 minutes.  My legs were a little stiff, but their 'springiness' was back again which is what I was waiting for.  I thought about a run on Friday - God knows I needed one! - but when I bounced on my legs they were not springy - it would have been like running on blocks of wood.  I came back here, had late-late-breakfast (or if you prefer, late-lunch) at about 2:30pm and watched a DVD of Time Team.  Speaking of alternative careers...!

Shamelessly stolen from here.

I found a late Mass at 6pm at Sacred Heart in Preston - another church that is very grand and beautiful in red brick.

 

Surprisingly for the last Mass on Sunday, it was full!  The priest did a good and enthusiastic Mass, without any excessive tinkering with the liturgy which made it a good service.  After Mass I went and got some basic groceries, came back here, had dinner in my room again (hermit or frickin' what?) and wrote some more.  This piece is coming along well.

Back to work tomorrow.  Unfortunately, I think the next weeks will be nothing less than weird.  Sigh.  The thing is, they could have offered me the option of resigning and I'd have still been willing to work as hard as ever; really, now, as I see it I'm on work-to-rule.  Should be a new experience.

OK, I guess that's it for now.

See you tomorrow!

A post-Christmas Christmas (photo heavy!)

Hello everyone,

How are things?  It's been an ... interesting day here.

I was awake bright and early this morning.  That is, I was awake about 5:30am and by 6:10am had decided I was definitely due for a run..  So, I set out to Flinders and around the golf course and back - according to Google Maps, a total of 9.5km.  Felt pretty good, and the sea air was rolling in in an agreeable manner.

Today was the day set for a second Christmas gathering at Second Oldest Sister's place, particularly as our uncle and his wife and their three kids were coming down to Melbourne.  I had an oddish feeling about this.  On one hand I was looking forward to it.  On the other, I wasn't sure how I'd go as the uncle's family includes twins - call them Sunbeam and Fizzy - who are only 5 months younger than Rachel and Grace.  You can understand why I had a few qualms about the deal.

I needn't have worried.  Mum, Dad and I were the first to arrive and were having a glass of champagne when Uncle's tribe rolled up.  I have to say, his kids were the the sweetest little tots you ever saw (except for my girls, of course!)  The oldest boy we'll call Ted, who's fully 7 years old and goes to a little school in the bush where he's one of only two kids in his year level!  And the twins, who are about two-and-a-half, played nicely and were sweet, gentle kids.  Still, I did feel a bit lost and sent Joni a text asking her to give our girls a big kiss and tell them Daddy loves and misses them awfully.  She texted back that there was actually a skype window, so there was just enough time to skype.  Awesome!  I borowed Second Oldest Sister's laptop and fired it up.  It was a little hard to hear them - lots of background noise at our end - but they enjoyed it and so did I, and we were even able to introduce the girls to Mrs Uncle and to their little cousins - Grace was cluey enough to call out "Hello Fizzy"!  I had an interesting chat with Mrs Uncle after that where she explained how they'd seen mum and dad after the girls went back across the pond.  Mum was clearly missing them and doted on Fizzer and Sunbeam even more than usual for that reason.  Yeah, I know, I'm a bad and selfish person.

 

Mrs Uncle and Fizzy 

Guilt aside, it was a great lunch.  Mum had attended to roasting a couple of chickens.  Second Oldest Sister had prepared, among other things, a stunning salad with olives

Second Oldest Sister

 

 Little Sister

Mum, Michael and Ted enjoying lunch

Lunch was followed by presents for the kids, which was an opportunity to get a few holiday snaps of the tribe as well!

 

 Fizzy, Ted and Sunbeam waiting eagerley for presents!

JP keeping a watchful eye on proceedings

Uncle meets chainsaw

The tribe enchanted by Fizzy's present!

Sunbeam discovering that his Uncle Stephen has an eye for cool presents!

Fizzy also discovering that Uncle Stephen has an eye for presents!

The festivities finished up at about 5:30pm with all concerned going their different directions.  Mum, Dad and I stopped at the Aldi in Moorabbin on the way back here.  This was the Aldi just near where Joni and I lived at Heatherton.  I'm sure you can understand why this was a little bit like the universe was whacking me with a Wiffle bat wrapped in sandpaper.  Sigh.  Still, I did see two things to lighten the mood.  One was a cookie jar which aimed to discourage cookie consumption by undermining your self esteem.  I have no words -

The other was a car still sporting Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer antlers and nose.  I have a little trouble understanding this concept.  If you want your car to be reindeer-powered, why aren't you driving a sleigh?  And if you think that a car nose and antlers are so hilarious you want to leave them on a minute longer than Christmas, what does that say about you?

Tomorrow Dad and I will head up to Shepparton to collect some steers and bring them back to Mt Martha.  Not sure how I feel about this break - I feel a bit lost and don't have any real other plans.  And I know there mightn't be many more summers with the old man, so the office has less of a hold on me than usual perhaps.

Well, I guess that's enough for today.

See you tomorrow.

Only three days? But it's a long post.

Hi everyone,

Has it really only been three days since my last post?  It felt like it had been fully a week.

It's been a full - or not - few days.  On the Thursday I went and got the judgment I mentioned in the last post.  We lost, which was a little disappointing as I thought we were in with a chance on this one.  Still, by way of consolation, our department lunch was that afternoon, at a nice place on Southbank.  I'm pleased to say I stayed sober, didn't embarrass myself, and even had the discipline to walk back to the office a little after 3:00pm to finish the appeal advice following the aforesaid  loss and also do a couple of liability-and-quantum advices.  Running in the evening.

Friday I was in the office tolerably early to get through the last of the work.  I was a little shocked to look at my timesheets and realise that I'd been at the office every day for about 30 days on the trot!  Friday kind of petered out: I got out what was necessary; by 2:30 people were just knocking off and leaving.  I got as far as 5:00pm, but by then it was a case of "who am I kidding?  I'm not actually working ... time to go...".  So I did.  I found my way back here, went for a run through the back streets of Brunswick - there was no way I was going to try and run on Lygon Street or Sydney Road the day most people's work finished for the year!  Got groceries in the evening and then sat up for a few hours writing a not-half-bad column on the Jon Hammar affair.  I sent it off to a couple of places and then turned in.  Naturally, when I woke up the next day I found the Mexican  government had released him.  As Bender said, "Ah crap, a miracle"!

On the plus side for Saturday, I found two of my letters had been published on the other side of the pond (here and here).  Letters to newspapers are surely the lowest form of publishing, but my strike rate on getting columns on history or law published is basically nil.  I need to get my name out there, and this is a way of doing it.  Not great, but better than nothing.  And it's a useful discipline to be able to condense an idea down to 250 simple words, so there's an upside there.  On that point, I remember something Oldest Sister Economist once told me: the reason The Communist Manifesto has been read far more than Das Kapital is because Kapital was  largely written by Marx - an economic theorist.  The Manifesto was largely written by Friedrich Engels, who had been a journalist.  Guess which one of them knew how to write?

Saturday itself I was actually up about 8:00am and on the road to USA Foods, on the other side of town.  I'll fry a turkey for the tribe for one of our extended-Christmas gatherings, so I needed to be injectable butter marinade.

USA Foods is the only place in Melbourne you could ever buy it.  When I got there I found they no longer carried it (which, when I think about it, isn't a huge surprise: how big a market for it could there have been?)  Nevertheless, while I was there I got some Zatarains etouffe mix and a bottle of - oh joy! - Crystals hot sauce.  Oh Lord, how I have missed Hot Sauce!

You may assume I've been eating it with almost everything since yesterday.  I even thought about putting it on a banana but decided I needed to draw the line somewhere and that was probably it.  I ran out of hot sauce from the before-time in about February; the only reason for not getting more is that USA Foods is (a) not cheap and (b) not really on my anywhere unless I'm going to see the parents.

For the balance of Saturday I re-edited the Hammar column into something current and emailed it off to a few more places.  As the day was warm I decided to go swimming at the Coburg Olympic Pool.  The warm day was one factor; also all the running I've been doing was drawing protests from my ankles, knees and hips, and my leg muscles were running in a fairly sullen "I'll do it because I have to" way.  Thoroughly enjoyed the swim, and it's been a long time since I've swum in an open-air pool.

Saturday evening - more writing, another column on a historical theme.  I settled that column when I woke up this morning (about 6:50am - on a Sunday?  What's become of me??).  Anyway, having finished the column I sent it to a bundle of places and then went to Mass at St Ambrose's over in Brunswick.

It's a beautiful old late-19th century church in bluestone where, mercifully, the Mass is done straight.  There's a time and a place for electric guitars, but it really isn't during Communion!

After Mass I came back here and waited to skype with the girls for their bedtime.  Oh my Lord, how cute were they this time!  Grace, my little extrovert, was a ball of energy, chattering like crazy and thrilled to tell me all she'd been doing and how she knew how to make a tunnel with a blanket and now she could do a kind of a forwards-flip.  I love how she calls me "Dad" and wants to talk to me every moment I'm on the screen and got quite insistent I pay attention to her when Joni turned me round to speak to Rachel.  Twas ever thus, though: Grace looks like me, but her personality - sunny, extroverted and enthusiastic - is all her mommy.  And Rachel was being her sweet, placid self.  When we got the skype connection happening she was already lying down in bed looking very much like a tired tiger.

But when she saw me, the first thing she started to do was blow kisses at me.  And she stood up and wanted to smile and pass things at me.  I love that she sleeps with the Kermit the frog I sent them after Hurricane Isaac.  Seriously, together or apart, I'm the luckiest man in the world to have them as my daughters.  I'm so proud of them already.

Skype dropped out and Joni needed to get the princesses to bed.  I went down to the City to get the last of the presents for the tribe.  It occurred to me that this is a good barometer for how well you actually know your family.  That is, do you know people well enough to know what they really like?  Or only well enough to take a stab at it and hope for the best?  Hmmm.

Shopping was kind of done by 5pm (need to go and get a few things tomorrow), so I decided to go swimming again.  This time I was completely beat after swimming a kilometre.  It was a 37C/104F degree day, though, and the cold water of the pool was heavenly.  Swimming done, I came back here and watched Big Bang Theory and had a shower and dinner.  Then, updating this blog which brings me to the present moment.  Tomorrow I'll finish Christmas stuff up here and then head for the parents place for the next few days: there's really nothing to keep me in town.  Looking forward to some time out of the City for sure!

OK, I guess that's the update.  I should post this and shut down, especially as my laptop's air cooling fan is making a very unhappy noise and feeling badly overheated.

Hope all your Christmas prep is coming along well!

See you tomorrow.

In which I skype

Hi everyone,

Starting this update while killing time: getting near time to skype with the girls.  Hurray!!

The day's been full since the last post.  I got a bunch of ground made up on the job I was about to start, and then did indeed make it to St Francis' for 6pm Mass.  Today's the first Sunday of Advent, obviously, but I'd forgotten that it's also the first day of the liturgical year.

Incidentally, for anyone that's interested, His Holiness has released an Apostolic Letter of which copies were available at church as well.  I was honestly unaware of this.  Clearly I've been even slacker than I thought!

After mass I went and got lunch fixings for the week from the supermarket in the city, and then trammed back here.  I went out for a short run, really just because I had a yen to, which took me to Lygon Street and back again - about 3 miles.

The sharehouse's resident bore was in full cry by the time I'd showered after my run, but I had some sausages in the fridge I hadn't been able to cook all week, so I decided to risk it and went down to the kitchen/loungeroom area.

Big mistake.

I really did try to stay out of it, as he riffed ad nauseum on the inadequacies of the Victorian criminal justice system, but in the end the stream of "I only know what I hear on 3AW and read in the Herald Sun but I have a really strong opinion" got to me and I said "Well, that's not quite how it works ... "

An hour and a half later I quietly snuck out while he was hectoring someone else.  Gripe.  This was an hour and a half I could have spent earning a Nobel Prize or watching Star Trek or something.  where do I go to get my 90 minutes back?

Source: http://www.sodahead.com/entertainment/bieber-gets-a-tattooof-a-bird/question-1019903/?page=4&link=ibaf&q=&imgurl=http://rlv.zcache.com/waste_my_time_binder-p127890919122448153f263i_400.jpg

After I'd extricated myself from that particular black hole I came up here and ironed some shirts and fired up the computer.  And soon I'll see my girls - Yay!

 

Just saw the girls.  Oh Lord, even  more beautiful than last time.  Grace, so chatty and sweet, and Rachel, so happy it just shines through her.  Just playing happily with the Olivia Pig house that Grandma Judith got them, and with their Princess and the Frog dolls.  And, making music banging on their trays with their dinglehoppers!  (for those of you that don't know, that's what Ariel the Princess knew forks as in The Little Mermaid and it's the munchkins' preferred term as well).

And now?  I need to have a shave and get to bed.  This moment always sucks: I've just had the best bit of my week.  And truth be told, it's always throws the rest of my life into a kind of relief.  I can write up a storm, and work hard and run and lose weight and all,  but without the people I love, it all carries a tint of the meaningless.

Definitely bedtime.  Things will feel better in the morning.

Weirdness in motion

Hi everyone,

Posting this from my phone tonight; therefore forgive the screwed up punctuation. Sorry.

It‘s been a good Sunday. I got through some laundry and finished a big room-tidy this morning, and was done in time for a skype with my two little angels. They‘re doing so well, and growing up so much. It was great to see them and talk to them and watch them play. The only hard part was, afterwards, loneliness just kind of kicked in and made it hard to smile for a bit.

Went to the office for the afternoon and evening and had a very productive session. I‘m going to DEMOLISH this week.

I‘d planned ahead so to be able to change into running gear at the office and run back to the casa, about 4 miles. To do this trip by tram, I usually allow about an hour for waiting time, walking to the stop, travelling etc. Running? I was back here in 40 minutes without really flogging myself to keep the pace. Weird or freakin what?

Which reminds me: I must check the deadline to sign up to race the Puffing Billy steam train in 2013.

See you tomorrow.

Sunday and lunch

Hi everyone,

Typing this post on my phone while having some downtime after Sunday lunch.  Busy morning. The calves we moved yesterday busted out of their paddock (again) and are now in a rather more secure paddock with the Maine bull.  We headed over to the property at Mt Martha to straighten up some fencrs there. Slightly difficult drive over and back as Dad was very much in a mood to talk and I couldn‘t seem to get my head inti th conversation space. Not sure why - usually that only happens when the blues are troubling me, which they aren‘t.

Anyway, fences attended to, we came back here, watched Landline and had lunch. Not sure what the plan is for the afternoon.  Will need to leave a but earlier than usual this evening as I have a skype date with the girls tonight at 11pm.

The photo below is from the chair I‘m in this minute.

More later.

Monday recap

Hi everyone,

It's after 1am and I really need to turn the laptop off and get to bed.  I'm a little heartbroken as I just finished typing a really good law and history piece for the wordpress blog and then pushed the wrong button and lost the lot.  I don't really care for wordpress as a blogging platform, but need something I can use that's separate from blogspot so as to keep these two bits of my life separate.

 

IT problems aside, it's been a great day from my perspective.  I had a hearing in the County Court today.  As it's still on foot, I can't really share details, but I think the phrase "issues rich and challenging" applies, as does the phrase "batting in a speedball cage".  And who was there at the middle of the storm, juggling interests and problems, keeping folks happy and generally finessing smooth progress from a losing hand?  Little ol' me!  I know it sounds like I'm plugging myself, but I've never thought of myself as a competent litigator before.  Discovering I don't just automatically screw things up is something that doesn't get old!

Worked a few extra hours this evening on a singularly intractable advice.  Dinner of macaroni and cheese with a little canned tuna and corn.  Skyped with my little angels tonight - so so so adorable, and Joni tells me Rachel is getting better all the time.  So in love with my little princesses and think they're due for another 'just because' present.

OK, time for me to sleep.  Lots to do tomorrow, including the balance of this hearing.  Fortunately thing will quiet down a little after this week.

See you tomorrow.

Not what the day deserves

Hi everyone,
This post won‘t be as long as the day deserves.  That might be just as well though: it‘s probably only interesting to me.  Anyway, today was the first ‘difficult‘ day I‘d had at the new job.  Difficult in the sense of being late in, and having no less than 4 medium size crises unravel through the day. Usually that sort of thing should make me insane and blame myself and convinced I‘m a horrible evil failure. Today - I just got in with it, fixed the problem and generally managed to roll through. Maybe it sounds pathetic, I guess, but it feels good to think “I still got it“.
Evening was a little difficult because I kept thinking of Grace and Rachel last night, playing with their wooden blocks, and how Grace so lives cuddling her little white toy bunny.  I miss my little girls so much.  Why can‘t we turn time backwards? Sigh.
Ok, it‘s very late. Sleep time.
See you tomorrow.

A picture Sunday

Hi everyone,

It's pretty late here (1:20am) - I just finished skyping with Joni and the girls.  I swear, those two little princesses are just the most perfect little people in the world.  So sweet, so gentle, so clever and so funny.  Rachel is getting cluier with words all the time and Grace - she's just the funniest, smartest little thing you ever saw.  Grace looked so thrilled to see me, and Rachel kind of cried when it was time to say bye-bye.  I love them more than there were words to say it.

It's been a weekend in town.  By way of a quick recap: On Friday evening I was having some chillout time (on the couch in sweatpants eating cheesy-poofs and watching Big Bang Theory) when Sophie, the former housemate who lives in Albury called me - she was in town and had had a dinner date fall through, so she asked if I wanted to catch up for tapas and a glass of wine.  She was in Fitzroy (about 5 minutes from here), so I met her there.  All was well until I found I'd unwittingly left my car in a permit zone.  Screw you, City of Yarra.

Saturday was frustrating: I was meant to meet the landlord here to sort out some bond paperwork, but an hour and a half late they called me and said they had to cancel.  Grumble.  Anyway, I went into town to get some things from the State Library for a good friend in Maine to do with a shared historical interest (she has a pretty neat historical blog that's worth a look - Heirlooms Reunited).  I was going to go to the office and get caught up on some work, but I got there and remembered I'd left my keycard behind.  Back I trekked to Brunswick, then back to the office.  That was an hour and a half well spent.  Gripe.  The evening was good though - Sophie teed up a dinner at a Lebanese grill for her and me and two other ex-housemates, Toby and KP, so it made for a really fun evening.  Although I can tell you, there was no good place to look when the belly dancer came out.  Where is a man meant to look when the dancer is wearing a thigh split velvet skirt, a fuzzy green bra, and dancing with a couple of swords?

And no, it was not possible to get a better photo!

After that I came back here and scribbled a bit more about Richard III.  I do this odd thing where I want to explore ideas.  If I just need to bash something out, a keyboard is fine.  If I want to write while pondering, I reach for a nib-pen and a bottle of ink.  Having to do the words slowly and carefully kind of makes you slow down and think things through.

Today I discovered I'd been robbed of an hour by daylight savings.  I spent most of the day at the office quite productively.  Dinner was hamburgers smothered with soy and barbeque sauces, served between slices of toast with avocado and tomato.  Simple but delicious (have made a spare one for lunch tomorrow - just knowing it's there will get me through the morning!).  And now, skype, blogging and bed.

Incidentally, in the twitter feed from one of my favourite college football teams, the San Diego State University Aztecs, there was a beautiful photograph of a sunset over their football field.  For some reason, the photo says something to me about hope and new beginnings and life and maturity and courage that I can't quite put into words.  Anyway, they very nicely said I could re-use it on my blog, so here it is -

Fear the Spear!

See you tomorrow folks.