Evening, 11 March 2012Hello everyone,
I'm typing this entry at my parents' place, sitting up in bed with my laptop on my knees. Web access is a bit patchy here, so I may only upload this when I get back to town tomorrow night. And for the sake of completeness, 3G Mobile coverage doesn't reach here; hence no update from my phone.
It's been a really settling kind of day. I was out of bed at a reasonable hour, had a shower and got dressed. As I was coming down here I made a point of grabbing my boots (picture herewith). I went downstairs and made breakfast out of some very stale bread rolls I had from a departing housemate. I cut then in half and stuffed them in the toaster, with the intention of then spreading them with cream cheese and putting some of my remaining mortadella on them as a breakfast to eat on the road. Well, all was well until the toaster announced that with a couple of bread rolls stuffed inside it, it was experiencing a degree of distress. Its means of doing so makes me think the toaster has developed independent decision making and planning capabilities (it held the bread rolls down untill they were pouring out more smoke than Chernobyl and triggered several smoke alarms). Undoubtedly as I write the Cylons are infiltrating the highest levels of our government. I attach a photo to help you identify the enemy in the forthcoming human-mechanical war.
Having reached a temporary truce with the Cylon toaster I made the aforesaid breakfast and got on the road. Traffic was pretty thick on the way and I worked my way though most of my Miranda Lambert, Darius Rucker and Brad Paisley on the way. I was annoyed to find my iPod no longer contained any Deana Carter. My little sister Fran and her fellow Michael were here when I got here. The rest of the day was spent working on creating a floor for what will be the next semi-trailer cattle crate. This included putting to use the new electric planer that Dad had bought. It works like a charm and putting multiple lengths of timber through was an oddly satisfying way to spend a decent whack of the afternoon (Photos herewith).
In late evening Dad and I went over to the yards to bottle-feed a couple of calves whose mothers didn't make it. Another moment that I must say I really enjoyed. Pictures attached. Too bad Grace and Rachel aren't here and a few years older. The cutest photos imaginable, and guaranteeing they'd be members of the FFA in school!
While I was doing a few other things here I took a few other photos around the place. Of some of the new machinery, and of the Jelbart tractor that was new when the grandfather bought it in the 1920s. The car with the LSU sticker on it is my old Corolla, sadly deceased after being accidentally run without oil (it's a long story).
I guess what I'd have to say as I write this is that I feel much more at peace tonight than I'd ever have expected to. As if things are going how they're meant to, even though sometimes it doesn't feel that way. For one thing, Fran seems happier at the moment than I've seen her in years, and that all on its own is a good thing. And I don't know that she isn't happy with Michael. Nothing I can put my finger on, just an instinctual take on my part. She and he seem almost to live at the parents' place a lot of the time anyway. Another thing is that, watching Dad and Michael interact, the dynamic seems to be very close to Michael being the son Dad never had. I know I should say that with a note of bitterness, but actually it's said with genuine - yes, genuine - joy! I know Dad loves me - I've never doubted that for a second - but I could never have been the farmer or the kind of man that I think he kind of always hoped I'd be. Not for want of trying, because I did try to understand the land and farming and water drilling and all, but because I just don't have the sort of head or brain or character for it. And, I dunno, maybe he would have felt it would have been a waste if I'd tried to be that person. But in Michael, he's got a pretty good substitute, and that clearly makes him happy too. AND it's an arrangement Michael seems to be happy with as well, so it's kind of hard not to think that in some weird way, the cosmos has pushed the pieces of the puzzle into the best of all possible orders. Yep - it just feels right.
I've included a couple of other pictures of things inside the house that make up the "home" picture a bit as well. the wood burning stove that Mum cooked tonights leg of lamb in (frickin' delicious I should add!), the roasting tray that has held God-only-knows how many chickens, rabbits, joints of meat, potatoes, carrots and pumpkins, and the kettle that has provided a Lake Eildon-worth of tea and coffee. That stove always makes me kind of happy. I think of how on cold winter evenings when I'd be here at the weekends, and I'd feed and tie up the dogs and close up the chicken shed, and walk back to the house, and the smell of pine and cypress smoke from the stove would just hang in the chilly air, and heaven would seem very near at hand. I know you shouldn't try to live in the past, and you especially shouldn't try to live in your own past. But you should remember and smile at things that made you happy, and feel joy that when they crop up again, they still can make you happy. Quod bonum tenete.
OK, time for me to sleep.
See you tomorrow.
Late Evening, 12 March 2012
Hi everyone,
Well, here I am, back in Brunswick. I'll write the update on today and then post this all. It's just on midnight as I write, so apologies if this become a little truncated.
I slept really really well last night. The area was a quiet as a crypt, save for a car going past occasionally and cattle in the neighbouring paddock bellowing occasionally. The house as a whole was on its feet about 7:30am. The three calves were fed again and then more work on the trailer as discussed yesterday. About 10:30 we came in for a cup of tea, and I was able to catch Joni on the skype, which was great and especially good as Dad got a chance to see his granddaughters now that they're big girls of two. I forgot to mention that Mum has accreted a huge bundle of Spot the Dog books and other things for the girls which I'll send in the next large package. It's kind of nice to be reassured that Mum and Dad do genuinely love their little granddaughters; they have a little trouble really showing it, because I don't think they kind of ever imagined themselves as grandparents, but loving them still counts for a fair
bit.
We drove over to Boneo to collect some extra supplies and a calf crush Dad had bought. This was a pleasant drive over to the far side of the Peninsula, and on a beautiful day. By the time we were back Fran had arrived down and lunch was had.
After lunch I spent some time wading through some of the boxes of papers I'd left down there for any to keep and any to throw away. Overwhelmingly they were from my high school and early university days (law school notes, many photocopies of cases, etc), including papers relating to my time living on campus at Monash. When I moved into the flat at Ormond I shared with Fran for a few years (in 1999) I boxed up most of this crap and put it out of sight, so a lot of this stuff I was seeing for the first time in 14+ years. Nothing special to say apart from that looking at (for example) some of the old memos and things from my time in the Halls of Residence, it struck me (again?) that for most of my time there, how utterly bloody miserable I was, how little I'd enjoyed it, how little I'd enjoyed law school, and how maybe I hadn't enjoyed my Arts degree as much as I tell myself I did, and how much I'd wanted to just escape. Those of you who know me well will be thinking "yeah, what else is new?", but it was kind of strange to me to find myself suddenly transported back to that time in my life and to find that those feelings don't seem to be ones I've applied backwards, but that they were (it would seem) the real deal. I've tinkered with this thought for a little this evening but can't seem to extract any moral from it; there may not be one to be had, perhaps.
There was more work rustling up boards for the trailer in the afternoon and cutting them to length, and then back to the yards to feed the calves. Fran, Michael and I had dinner down there with the parents. Fran will stay down there tonight, and Michael went home. I stayed for a cup of tea and to watch some TV and then drove back up here. I did the usual "getting ready for tomorrow" things, and then sat down to type this.
So, there you have it! It's been a really good Labour Day long weekend and I'm feeling ready to go this week!
See you tomorrow.
No comments:
Post a Comment